October 30, 2008
October 29, 2008
October 28, 2008
I will drink them every day
I will drink them just my way.
I am scared no more you see
Kale Shakes can make me happy.
Mix them up in the morning,
And your day will not be boring.
You might want to give them a try
Before you find that egg to fry
They make you healthy, and so strong,
With Kale Shakes you can't go wrong!
October 21, 2008
October 15, 2008
You know your husband is due home from deployment when….
1. There is some kind of bank/pay error and your checking account looks really empty. You are going to have to come up with an explanation to why there’s no gas in his truck, why you aren’t going out to dinner the week he comes home and why the cable is cancelled.
2. Your children are out of control, really. No amount of prayer or punishment seems to be helping and you are ready to sell them to the next band of gypsies you find.
3. You find out your car has a transmission fluid leak. You also can’t get the now needed snow tires down from the attic on your own. The garage door also breaks so that it doesn’t matter if you can get them down, you can’t get them out of the garage anyway.
4. Your calendar explodes with events you absolutely must attend to, and there’s no getting out of them. (i.e. the Primary Program)
5. Your hair color goes terrible awry. Pink is really not meant to be the intended color. You just aren’t that brave with your hair.
6. Your face breaks out for no good reason. It’s not like you are a teenager or anything. All of the sudden you have more zits than you did in your Senior portrait. What’s up with that?
7. All of your friends and family are asking you when the big day is, probably because you have become a very whiny person lately.
8. Your grandmother calls and says she’s coming for a visit that weekend. Love ya, Gram, but give me a few more days, okay?
9. Your health issues (or your kids colds) give you a run for your money. You know you should be cleaning the house and prettying up the yard, but it’s all you can do to shower and dress yourself and your kids.
10. The original date has come and gone and you are done waiting patiently, so you carry your phone around with you everywhere you go, waiting for the call, in case you won’t be able to get to it in time from the bathroom. You also call his cell phone every night, hoping somehow you are going to hear something other than voice mail.
Are we done yet?
October 10, 2008
Things have changed since he’s been gone.
Our children have grown. Taller, smarter, more independent.
Our son can hit a baseball now, our daughter can talk and walk and run.
The house has changed too. New curtains, new pictures, new dishes.
The seasons have changed from a wet Spring to a graceful Fall.
The trees in the yard have lost their green leaves and are naked and dormant,
Sleeping and waiting once again for Spring.
He takes it all in, slowly and carefully, as is his way.
It is his habit to take a stroll around the neighborhood alone
To get re-accustomed to the world he left so long ago.
Houses have changed colors, yards are showing their Fall splendor.
Somehow even the rains of Spring and the rains of Fall seem different.
Weeks and months have passed since he left.
Life has gone on in his absence.
He is glad to be home. Happy to see that even though things change,
Home is just where he left it.
~Allicia Hubbs, October 10, 2008
October 9, 2008
I have started walking. I put Meg in the Ergo on my back and we go for a walk almost every day now. We walked up the big hill to visit a friend this morning. We have explored the local hiking trail and the wetlands and our neighborhood. We are slow but steady and each day is a little better than the last. When the weather really turns, I am not sure what we will do, but I am motivated now to find something. We have also been having family trampoline time with Bug in the afternoons. He loves it, Meg loves it and I get winded really fast, so it must be good for me.
As far as food goes, that means no more cold cereal for breakfast, and lots more eggs. Bug is upset about the cold cereal thing. Too bad I have such little willpower. Thanksgiving isn't going to be nearly as good this year, but you work with what you have. I am getting used to eating the diabetic diet again, even though I still hate it. Hopefully it will get easier.
In the meantime I am exercising Faith in Every Footstep. Faith that I will get this under control, faith that I will be able to live a full and happy life and be around to kiss my kids for a long, long time. Faith that God doesn't give me any challenge I can't handle with His help and grace. Faith that life is good and there is joy in the journey, I just have to see it.
October 7, 2008
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking,or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied
history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone! One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.' In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths,after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you,Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.' At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime, because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.' As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women. If you're feeling a little unappreciated maybe this will pick you up! Great Job, MOM! Author unknown
October 3, 2008
Virgo: You simply won't be able to do it all today -- so take it easy on yourself, and don't set goals that are impossible to achieve! You don't need to let yourself out of your responsibilities, but you do need to take yourself out of the running for 'perfect person on the year' -- the title is not worth the stress it requires. If you want to keep harmony in your life, you need to adjust the expectations you have for yourself. Requiring a little bit less enables you to succeed a little bit more.
October 2, 2008
He's not much of a talker though. We split a cell phone plan with Mom and when the bill comes (on months he's home) his share is about 7 minutes used and I always know that's been under duress and has something to do with work. He doesn't talk much in person either, but he's very funny in a sly kind of way and gets your attention when he does speak. He's become much more affectionate in the past few years and in silence will often reach for my hand or touch my shoulder as he walks past me.
I am missing my husband this week. It's always this time in deployment when I am more than ready for him to come home. I need his strength, silent or not, I need his presence back at home. I need his reassurance, his kindness and his help. I just need him home... Most people are really sad at the beginning of a deployment, and I admit to having a bad day or two. For the most part though, the end kills me. I can't stand the waiting when I know the date is near. I just want it to be over already, I want him home.
I just want you all to know (not like I have tons of readers here) that I really think married the perfect man for me. He's my other half, and I really miss him this week. Are we there yet?